If you’ve read our previous post on success and mentality, then you’ll know how essential your mental approach is to being successful. Approaching a goal or task with a positive and focused mindset will mostly like yield success. If you have not read our previous post, I suggest starting there:
https://patienceconsistency.com/success-and-your-mentality/
In our previous post, we covered four main ways we effect our own success with our mental approach:
- Not Setting Yourself Up For Failure
- Being Responsible (Not blaming others)
- Being Open to Suggestion & Critique
- Not Being Afraid of Failure
All of these are directly related to our thoughts about ourselves. Our mental approach can drastically change when we add other people into the mix. For some reason, other people really have a way of getting in our heads and reinforcing our insecurities. That is, if you let them get inside your head. Let’s take a few minutes to discuss how to handle our mental approach when other people get into the mix.
1. Don’t Compare Yourself Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to others, especially those who have more success than you can be a negative trap to fall into. If you are just starting out at something and you compare yourself to someone else who is extremely successful it can be disheartening and discouraging. If you fall into this trap, you may start to think its impossible to get where they are and want to give up.
Instead of letting other peoples’ success get you down, switch up your mental approach. Start thinking of that person as a role model or someone you aspire to be like. Read about what they did to become so successful and try to follow in their footsteps. You can even reach out to them and ask what they’ve done. In short, don’t compare yourself to others because nothing good comes of it. We are all on our own journey and moving at our own pace.
2. Don’t Worry About What Other People Think
This one is a doozy. Don’t let what other people think get to you at all regardless of who they are. Sometimes, the most judgmental crowd can be the crowd that knows us best like our family and close friends. If you really want to be successful but are afraid of what others are going to think it will deter your progress. If you are afraid of other’s opinions, you will not be successful. You will spend too much time overthinking things instead of progressing.
If there is something you really want to achieve, why would you let other’s people judgments slow you down? I think this is one of the most challenging mental hurdles to overcome. Sometimes other peoples opinions and judgments can be highlighting the very insecurities that you were already working through. As hard as it may be you have to not let them get to you. Keep focusing on you, your goals, and your progress.
3. Don’t Let Other People Deter You
Don’t let your friends, family, coworkers, etc. take you off track. For example, its a Friday night and your friends want you to go out to bar. You decide you’d rather stay in, get a good night sleep and wake up early on Saturday and go to that class at the gym. You’re really focused on your health and fitness goals, and want to keep seeing progress. I’ve been in this situation before and I can honestly say my friends have guilted me, called me lame, or something along those lines. In this situation you have two options, go out and make everyone happy or stay in and make yourself happy. I’m not saying to isolate yourself, but you can always counter offer with plans for the following day or maybe even see if they want to check out that class with you.
Other people can try to deter us for a lot of reasons. Maybe they don’t want us to be successful. Maybe they’re afraid of changes. Whatever the reason may be, just remember what your end goals are. Its easy to always want to please people and put ourselves last. If your truly focused on your goal and achieving success, you’re going to have to put yourself first.
4. Don’t Let Others Tell You What You Can & Can’t Do
I saved the best for last. There have been so many times where other people have told me that my goal was stupid, that I wouldn’t be success, that I was wasting my time. I don’t know about you but that does not discourage me at all. If anything it ignites my fire. Regardless of what your goal is, if someone tells you you’ll never succeed DO NOT LISTEN. I know it can be hard sometimes, but seriously don’t listen. Keep working and making progress. Let nay-sayers motivate you even more.
It can be so hard to juggle our own insecurities, our mental attitude and other people all at the same time. Try steadily making adjustments to how you mentally handle various situations. The more positive and sound your mental approach is, the more success you will have. There are so many other ways to work on our mental approach, we are just getting started! Stay tuned for Part 3 dropping next week.
So much of what you mentioned resonates with me. I try to live my life by them
Awesome!
Yes! I used to compare myself to others often, and then I realized that wasn’t healthy. I just focus on myself and my own life.
Its such an unhealthy trap to fall into too, and awesome I’m glad to hear it!
I do compare to much and let the jealous bug come out. I need to stop that and focus on me.
It’s hard to do but so necessary!
I agree with this list but it is also so much easier said than done.
Agreed!
You shouldn’t compare yourself to others because nothing good comes of it. We are all on our own journey and moving at our own pace.
Agreed!
I have to work a bit harder on your first tip. I still compare myself with others and I care a bit too much what other people think of what I do. Great tips. I like the last one the most.
Thank you! Keep working at it, you will get there!
This is such a great post I do think our mentalities have a lot to do with how successful we can be, and definitely comparing ourselves to others can definitely pull us down.
Agreed!
Comparison is such a death trap!! We all need to be cheerleaders for each other. No one builds by tearing down or comparing themselves to others.
Agreed!
Comparing yourself to others is the absolute worst. I tend to it quite a lot so trying to change that!
It is hard to do!
Man people can be both the best and the worst. Comparing yourself with others is no good. Also when you find people that really build you up and support you, it’s important to keep them around.
I agree!
Can’t agree more to your points. Being content is important.
Exactly!
I took a big leap this year, and it included a big risk. It can be easy to give in and think I can’t do it. So I’m going to need to keep this motivation mindset available for the days when I’m doubting myself.
Awesome!
Comparison really is the thief of joy. I like that you brought up others deterring you, I always follow my gut – you can’t please everyone!
Exactly!
You are right, you do have to believe in yourself and have faith in what you are doing. And you cannot let anyone else dissuade you that you are moving in the right direction.
Exactly!
It took me most of my life to learn not to compare myself to others because I feel like society teaches us to do this at an early age. I admit that I still struggle with not caring what others think but slowly I am getting better with this. This is a great post to read!
It is so hard to not compare yourselves to others! Thank you 🙂
I used to compare myself but now I just try to be the best version of me!
Great post
Karamel_KC
http://www.karamelsessence.com
Awesome! Thanks 🙂
Our self talk can make or break this!
XOXO
Elizabeth Keene
http://www.akeenesenseofstyle.com
This is such a great post! I know I tend to worry too much about what other people will think or say, but if I didn’t I would be a much happier and less anxious person. Definitely something to work on, thanks for the tips!
You’re welcome!