I’ve come to learn over the years that how you mentally approach something determines your success rate. More often than not when it comes to working towards a goal, we are all responsible for sabotaging ourselves in some way or another. It can sometimes be hard to admit that we are the ones responsible for our downfall, but most of the time its true.
When I start working towards a goal, I have a very specific mental attitude and focus. My success rate has been higher since my change in mentality. I used to fall into the self-sabotaging scenario way too often. If you’re someone who is constantly trying to accomplish something, but ends up falling short every time, read on there’s a very good chance you fall into one of these categories.
1. Don’t Set Yourself Up For Failure
Too many times I have started working with a client or been discussing personal goals with a friend and they’ve told me what they want to accomplish. They all have had pretty clear cut goals and knew what they wanted to accomplish and why they wanted to accomplish it. They all also had several reasons for why they wouldn’t be able to accomplish it.
Most people I know fall into this trap. They all really want to accomplish something, but before they even start the process they are telling themselves why they can’t succeed. If you start working towards a goal telling yourself you won’t be successful, then you will not be successful. You’re setting yourself up for failure before you even start.
Starting to work towards a goal can be scary or even nerve wracking, especially if you are afraid of failing. Don’t approach the process thinking you won’t succeed. I used to be especially guilty of this, and would always set myself up for failure and think that I wouldn’t be able to succeed before I even stated. Now when I start working towards something, I tell myself that with a lot of work I will be successful. Since I’ve changed my mindset, I’ve accomplished way more in a short amount of time than I ever have.
2. You Are Responsible
Another response I would hear from people all the time, is that they wouldn’t be able to succeed because of their spouse, child, friend, job, time, etc. While all of those can hinder your progress or even make things more difficult for you, they are not responsible for your success. Only you can be responsible for whether or not you fail or succeed.
When I was working a crazy, hectic job that took up seventy hours of my time every week I started to blame the job on my lack of success with my meal plan and training regimen. In realty, I was self sabotaging myself because I could have exercised every night when I got home from work but I chose to sit on the couch and watch TV.
If you really want to be successful at something, you have to own it. Don’t push off your failures or blame anyone but yourself if you’re not successful. No one controls what you do, except for you. Blaming other people for your downfall is typically an excuse and not a valid reason for your lack of success.
3. Be Open To Suggestion
One of the biggest factors that will determine your success rate, is being open to suggestion. Don’t assume that you know everything there is to know and close your mind to suggestions from others. Our egos are often our own worst enemy.
I have seen this happen way too many times in particular with friends asking me for diet/exercise advice. The conversation starts out with them asking me questions about what they could do to see more results. I’ll begin to give suggestions and advice based off my experience and knowledge in the field of health and fitness. More often than not, they will interrupt me and say something along the lines or yeah I know that already, or oh, but that won’t work for me.
I used to be really guilty of this. It is really easy to assume that you know everything there is to know. No one likes to be told that their thought process is wrong, incorrect or insufficient. Once I was able to take in suggestion and start acting on it, I began having greater success.
4. Don’t Be Afraid Of Failure:
Everyone is afraid of failing. When you start working towards a goal, failure is a definite possibility. That little voice inside your head can really start to get to you saying well what if you fail, what if all the work you’ve done is for nothing, or what if you don’t succeed. As hard as it may be to do, you need to ignore that voice and keep moving forward.
I was always really afraid of failing. I used to put little effort into accomplishing my goals so that way when I was unsuccessful I was ready to blame the situation and not myself. This was the hardest mental adjustments I had make. I stopped being afraid of my failures. As cliche as it sounds, if I did fail at something I would look at the situation from an outside perspective, learn from it and move on and try again.
Putting all of your effort into something when there is a chance for failure can be hard to do. Instead of being afraid of failing, look at your failure as a learning experience and know that when you try again you won’t make the same mistakes.
Changing your mentality is one of the hardest things to do, especially if you’ve had the same thought processes for years. When it comes to working towards and achieving a goal, whether diet and exercise related or not, your metal attitude will determine your success. If you are currently struggling with something, ask yourself if you fit into one of these categories. Even if you have a hard time admitting it to yourself, do it. The sooner you fix your mental attitude the sooner you will have success.
Do you currently struggle with any of these? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Yep, I hear you. I am guilty of all of this. I have to change my mindset as well. I’m making improvements, but I still have a long way to go.
Keep working at it, you’ll get there 🙂
This is so important to keep in mind! Even if I do fail, I learn from the failures and I know what NOT to do.
Exactly, it really does help us learn!
I have to admit I often think I set myself up for failure, I don’t mean to but I always think there’s no way I can do that. So I always assume the worst.
Keep working on your mental skill set, you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish 🙂
Managing my mentality is something I have been working on for a long time. I suffer from a lot of anxiety and the “what if…?” questions really get at me when I start a new project. I agree with you: managing your expectations and not setting yourself up for failure is a very hard task, but an important one! Great share.
It is so easy to get inside of our own heads! & Thanks for your feedback 🙂
I think that failing is just a part of life sometimes. We all have to accept it, and learn from it. It’s the only way we can grow.
I completely agree 🙂
This is a great post! I think my biggest issue is that I AM afraid of failure. Something I definitely need to work on.
Thanks 🙂 Keep working on overcoming it – you’ll get there!
These are such great tips! I think the scariest one is failing for sure!
Agreed!
this is such a great post. i read somewhere that in order to experience we have to fail. i feel like we learn from everything, you can either make the best out of a horrible situation or just sit there miserable.
I love your thought process! I think you’re absolutely right 🙂
I love the don’t be afraid of failure because most people do tend to give up after a failure instead of taking it as a lesson.
So true!
A good mindset is essential in the success of a project. If you don’t believe in it or if you don’t think it will be successful, then there are a lot of chances you will fail.
AGreed!!
I think its a bit ironic that people won’t try to achieve their goals because they are afraid to fail. By not trying you are still failing!
You’re absolutely right 🙂
Success is absolutely tied to mind-set – accountability, mentality. It’s so easy to fall into “fear of failure” or “I can’t do this”. It’s something I struggle with on the daily. One of these days, I’ll get it. 🙂
Keep working at it, you’ll get there 🙂
I found that it’s mostly about mindset! Your tips are great and I definitely will be trying it!
Thank you!
This is a really great and insightful post. To be honest I find myself guilty of always settingmyself up for failure I am often more focused on the negatives, I also really need to be more open to suggestions and not be so afraid of failing.
This post is really timely for me.
Thank you for sharing your rich insight
This is a really great and insightful post. To be honest I find myself guilty of always settingmyself up for failure I am often more focused on the negatives, I also really need to be more open to suggestions and not be so afraid of failing when venturing into new grounds.
This post is really timely for me.
Thank you for sharing your rich insight
Thank you so much for your feedback!! It is so hard always keep your mindset strong but with practice and over time you’ll mental attitude will be where it needs to be.
This is such a positive read. Failures are part of life but we shouldn’t be afraid of them. Well written.
Thank you 🙂
Being positive is a good mind set, plus being open to suggestions and not be easily offended.
We need to fail in order us to learn and value our experiences.
I completely agree!
Every time I started something new I kind of thought: “What if this goes terribly wrong!” Now, I think: “This will be good, if anything happens–It’ll be a learning experience!” I think It comes with age. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
I agree! 🙂 It’s always a learning experience
Failing is a part of life, always we learn lots of things when we fail We all should to accept it, and learn from it. It’s the only way we can gro.
Agreed!
These are great tips! It’s hard not to be afraid of failure. I know I should not because you don’t get anything without taking risks but I guess it’s still always a bit scary!
I try not to think of it as scary, but an opportunity.
This is a great post! failures are part of life, always after failures, we learn new lesson
Agreed!